Understanding Subconscious Behaviors: The Impact of Family Validation

November 29, 2023by Elise

Ever feel like breaking free from the programming of your past is one of life’s greatest challenges? Our actions and emotions are deeply influenced by our life experiences, especially those in our early years.

Psychologist Erik H. Erikson termed the first eight years of life as the formative years, a time crucial for psychological development. Lack of validation during this period can have enduring effects on one’s psyche. Let’s delve into eight subconscious behaviors that might be rooted in a lack of family validation.


1) Agreeing Too Much:

Seeking approval becomes ingrained for those who lacked validation. While agreeing with others is natural, excessive people-pleasing can erode one’s sense of self. Repeated approval-seeking may stem from childhood experiences where validation was absent.

2) Apologizing Excessively:

Constant apologies can be a way of avoiding conflict and seeking continuous approval. Individuals who internalized a sense of never being good enough during childhood may over-apologize even when not at fault.

3) Over-Achieving:

Over-achievement can be a subconscious pursuit of the validation that was missing in childhood. It’s essential to reflect on the inner drive for success and question its origins.

4) Downplaying Achievements:

People who didn’t receive adequate validation may struggle to accept praise. They often downplay their achievements, attributing success to luck or external factors.


Stay tuned for Part 2 of our Understanding Subconscious Behaviors series, where we’ll explore building internal validation, delving into how understanding these subconscious behaviors is the first step to breaking free from their influence.


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